HAPPY FATHERS DAY – 1900 vs 2007

Fathers Then and Now

Today is one of the first Father’s Days of our new millennium. Fathers
of 1900 didn’t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did
have a few advantages:

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father’s horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it’s the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a
success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just
the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby
arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure
film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down
an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long
enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip
cancer.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up,
it’s time for school.”
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up,
it’s time for hockey practice.”

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at
the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at
gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while
fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout,
“WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all
smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams: “I
wanted Sega!”

In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham
and potatoes.
Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool.
Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.

In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for
the horses.
Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the
table.
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.
Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and
organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to
attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the
girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that
earring?”

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room,
red-brick building.
Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey
Mantle.

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.