Help The Homeless

Donate your professional clothes to an organization that helps people get back into the workforce. Give gently worn home furnishings or household appliances to a person or family who might need them or donate them to an organization. Take warm clothes, blankets or food to a homeless person that you often cross paths with. Donate toys and books to a homeless organization. Toys and books are just as important to kids as food and shelter. When shopping, buy a couple extra non-perishable food items and take them to a food drive or pantry. Make an extra serving of dinner and bring it to a homeless person in your neighborhood.

MGA LIPI NG SALITANG TAGALOG NG TAGA QUEZON

LIPI NG KAHULUGAN NG TAGALOG SA QUEZON  (FORMERLY TAYABAS) by emilio ruidera AHS 1971

1. Abok-abok – tuyong balat sa braso o katawan, uso pag taglamig; dry skin on the body

1. Akot-akot – bahay o pugad ng insekto o bubuyug, yari sa putik

1. Adyu – umadyu, umakyat, to climb

1. Adyos – bakit, why, or expression of uncertainty

1. Akaw! – (uh-cow) a multifunction expression used to express surprise, wonder, disgust, objection; also akin to the English term Wow!

1. Akboy – things you put on your shirt that serves as container. Kapag ang laylayan ng damit ay ginawang lagayan.

1. Aho-a! or Ho-a! – used to express wonder or surprise; also used as expression in seeing or observing extraordinarily large objects or things.

1. Alingating – maliit na langgam na pula, red ants

1. Alintodong – telang panakip sa ulo, cloth used to cover one’s head

1. Alitonton- dragonfly

1. Anin! – expression used to refer to small or easy things, sinasabi
2. kapag naliliitan o nadadalian sa isang bagay

1. Arapaw – umarapaw; get on top, imibabaw

1. A’re! – (uh-reh) expression used to agree sarcastically or to react negatively or challenge a thought, idea or action (really!)

1. Ariyonda – umarionda, to ease your time away, means of relaxation and often ends up gossiping

1. Arupahup – unethical, untidy. Ex: Napakaarupahup niya, hindi man lamang marunong gumalang

1. As-set! or Aset! – derived from the altas, the Akaw expression preferred by residents of San Luis

1. Asows or Asos – same as Aho-a or Ho-a, but mostly used on big things

1. Atab – lie, to fabricate a story

1. Atikha – same as atab

1. Atmal – same as atab

1. Ates! or Ateys! – used to express disgust or negative reaction

1. At Tano? – why, bakit

1. At’tilaboy – expression of rejection, ayaw ko. (Now more commonly used as at’tilauy)

1. Ay Tikis! – expression meaning talaga!

1. Ayud – pag-ugoy sa duyan, to rock the cradle

1. Balibag – away, gulo, fight

1. Badeyo – bayad sa pagtawid sa bangka.

1. Balinuknuk – nabali ang leeg, broken neck or stiff neck

1. Bangi – mag-ihaw o iihaw, to roast. Specifically applied only to rootcrops like corn or camote. Not applicable to meats.

1. Bangul – sobrang batugan o tanga

1. Bantaakan – nasa initan, nakabilad sa araw

1. Barikungkung – nakabaluktot matulog, sleep in fetal position

1. Bartikal – ibinatu ng walang direksyon o basta-basta

1. Bayatu – term used for the game patintero

1. Be-bel-le – bahay-bahayan, playing house

1. Beglat – refers to female masturbation

1. Benebens – pang-benebens, Buhangin speak meaning pang-main event

1. Bes-sog (Borobot-sog) – matambok, puputok na sa taba

1. Binangkid – bangkid, tinaga ng mapurol na bahagi ng itak

1. Binesa – walang binesa, walang bisa, talunan, loser

1. Biningkit – tuyo, dried fish (clarification needed, I think TUYO is the Baler terminology, meaning biningkit or danggit)

1. Bok’les – get naked, pag-angat sa palsa o bestida na nasisilip ang panty

1. Bol’les or Bel-les – shower using a container to pour water on top of
2. one’s head

1. Bolog-bolog – lizard like animal about 6 to 12 inches long

1. Bongog – bangul, sobrang batugan, tanga

1. Bugtak – busug na busug

1. Bulastug – bulaan, sinungaling, liar

1. Bulagyat – binaligtad ang pilik ng mata

1. Bulegyat – binulegyat; binukadkad or scatter

1. Buleud – bulaan, liar

1. Bulibuli – nasobrahan ng kain, indigested

1. Bulislis – always laughing, even if it’s was not funny; palatawa;
2. bungisngis

1. Bulitug – means “sinungaling”

1. Bumurayray – tumakbo ng mabilis na mabilis

1. Bungelngel – palaiyak, kabaligtaran ng bungisngis

1. Bungsuran – entrance, front side, harap ng bahay (I think is a true Tagalog word.)

1. Buntal – suntok, jab

1. Burukil – one%u2019s private part, usually man%u2019s

1. Buslug – male masturbation, also refers to male’s sex organ

1. Butayung- gangga-suntok na buko ng niyog

1. Butegteg – chubby, matabang bata

1. Buyanyanin – payat na malaki ang tiyan, malnourished

1. Da! -(duh) used when asking to have or to see something. i.e. Pahingi Da!

1. Dagasa – pouring rain or malakas na ulan

1. Dalosdos – dausdus, slide

1. Damsak – nag-putik

1. Dapil – sobrang gutom, very hungry

1. Daplag – padapang bumagsak o napadapa

1. Dayidi – sobrang lakas ng ulan, very heavy rain

1. Dep-pot – dipping a finger in a sauce (Huwag mong dep-potin yang sawsawan)

1. Dihamu – or diyamo. Iabot (Dihamu da!), give back

1. Diyaski! – an expression of disbelief, disgust and impertinent glib.Ex: Ar-re, ang dyaski ay at nagbubulaan pa!

1. Donghe – a gate crasher. Ex: Nariyan na naman si Bandino makikidonghe

1. Doprak – spit, lumura

1. Dyableg! – same use as lintik, but preferred by Baler locals; Ang dyableg na itu ay at lalaban pa.

1. Dumindis – you look like a gnome, or mukhang amas, or homeless with tattered clothes

1. Dupelak – naputikan, muddy portion of shirt

1. Eh! – no, objection or rejection

1. Ereg – tabingi

1. Gangu – hard young coconut, matigas na mura. Murang Querijero

1. Gorhet – scratch using pointed object

1. Garut – galis, dry wound

1. Gos-sok – gutom, sinisikmura, really hungry

1. Guregis – gasgas, scratch

1. Gurlis – scratch or gasgas

1. Gutur-gutur – hindi pantay, bukul-bukul, uneven (ginupit ng gutur-gutur)

1. Hagobel – gigantic or pinakamalaki.

1. Hiduk – sira ulo, utu-utu

1. Hidhid – sugapa

1. Hiridu – matindi ang tama, lasing na lasing

1. Idangdang – iihaw, ilagay sa apoy, painitan

1. Imoy – money or kuwarta

1. Intin – hintayin, wait

1. Isamual – to force into one’s mouth

1. Isapwal – to throw things away through tthe window or any hole in the house

1. Isimpan – itabi, to set aside

1. Itangil – itaga, itaya para tagain

1. Kabang – sakang

1. Kabel-an – hindi magkapareho, uneven, not the same size

1. Kalaghara – plema, phlegm

1. Kalapnit – paniki, bat

1. Kalibkib – tutung ng niyog sa bao, tirang niyog sa bao pagkatapus kayurin

1. Kalut – a loop knot (silo) used for catching tikling

1. Kapirang-gut – small portion, or gatinggil, kapiraso

1. Kapukit – small portion, or gatinggil

1. Kaputod – shorts

1. Karhed – same as kaybut but kaybut is more forced, kahid

1. Katsibung – kinatsibung, sinundot ng daliri ang puwit

1. Kaybut – kinaybut; scratch like chicken scratching, dig using fingers

1. Keb-keb – body dirt esp. maplike dirt

1. Kelkel – karga-karga, dala-dala, buhat

1. Keng-keng – to hop

1. Kep-pot – dipping a finger in a female’s private part (he! he!),
2. female masturbation

1. Kerebsaw – quiver, especially in fish

1. Kere-kerewe – balu-baluktot, crooked, uneven

1. Kes-sel – skin a palay or butong pakwan using your mouth

1. Kinadlu – kadlu, sinandok na sabaw o ulam sa kaserola o kaldero, o
2. kaya ay tubig sa tapayan o timba

1. Kogkog – loser

1. Korombot or kulubong – laying on bed with whole body covered with
2. blanket in fetal position

1. Kot-teb – to cut or get a small portion, kot-tebin ang buhok

1. Kurudupdup – wee light that looks like dying down

1. Kurumbisti – batang nagmamaktol

1. Kutus – katus, to hit someone’s head with the knuckle

1. Kuwidaw – a senese of warning. Ex: kuwidaw ka at baka ka niya saktan. (I think I heard this word from one of the Apo Hiking Society’s songs.)

1. Labsak – watery, i.e. labsak na dinagtu

1. Lapoy-lapoy – apurahan na luto

1. Lebleb – smothered with tounge. Ex: Yung asu ay nilebleban ni yung kawali.

1. Lino’ – maghugas ng pinggan, wash the dishes (I think this is a true Tagalog word. Ginagamit din ang salitang itu ng mga taga-ibaba.)

1. Log-okin – mahina ang katawan, sakitin, sickly person or animal esp.
2. chicken

1. Lok-kog – taking off slightly matured coconut meat from its shell
2. using a knife or spoon

1. Lo-u – maglo-u, to eat rice straight from the pot

1. Lumakbas – to walk over something – i.e. a low fence, or a sleeping person

1. Lumun – sobrang hinog, too ripe

1. Lungad – naglungad, batang nagsuka ng gatas o kinain

1. Lupek – crushed, disfigured

1. Luway-luway – dahan-dahan, slowly, carefully

1. Mabanas – mainit ang pakirandam dahil sa panahon, feeling hot on warm and humid weather. Huwag gamitin sa Maynila; iisipin nila na ikaw ay galit.

1. Mabang-i – mabaho, stinky

1. Magayut – used in galyang or gabi meaning watery

1. Mag-e – Kumuha, prefix attached to something that you will get.
2. Nilalagay sa bagay na kukunin mo. Ex: Tara mag-e ibobug.

1. Maggama – gama, manghuli ng isa sa pamamagitan ng kamay, to catch a fish using one’s hands

1. Maka-otla – nakakasawa

1. Makaryod – maker-reg, mataray

1. Maker’reg – mataray, malandi, flirt

1. Maki-adaday – (root word adaday) makialam, makihalo

1. Makudup – mahirap lumiyab. Ex: Makudup iyan ay pang-gatong mu.

1. Malag – tanga-tanga

1. Malangeg – marumi, dirty

1. Malibunuk – magulong kausap

1. Manubalang – almost ripe, manibalang

1. Maradad – mapakla at maasim

1. Maradis – stinks, mabaho, mabantot

1. Masel-let – nangitim na damit o puting tela

1. Masilig – wild river or sea, with heavy undercurrent

1. Matablal – matabang, tubig na walang lasa, bland-tasting water

1. Mayabu – used in galyang or gabi meaning very dry, as opposed to magayut

1. Nabonogan – (root word – bonog) nabalis, nabati, nausog

1. Naglaug – naggala, nag-stroll

1. Nagparadi – pahelehele or hard to convince with insulting looks

1. Nakatukmud – (root word – tukmud) nakapangalumbaba

1. Nalanawan – nahilaw o hindi nalutong gulay

1. Nalon-okan – nabarahan ng pagkain ang lalamunan, choked

1. Nangku – let me see it or let me hold it

1. Napaengo – nagkamali, napahiya

1. Napalisgay – (root word – lisgay) natapilok, nadulas, slip

1. Narogsat – collapse, gumuho

1. Natulsak – natusok, hit with pointed object

1. Ne-ut – magne-ut, magnakaw, steal

1. Ngarotngot – the sound of grinding the teeth when asleep Ex: Akaw, kung matulug iyan na-ngarotngot.

1. Ngedet – iyakin, isang kalbit lamang umiiyak na

1. Ngonsol – maga ang labi, swollen lips

1. Ngopngop – bungal, walang ngipin

1. Ngoy-ngoy – cry or crying

1. Nonol – sobrang lasing, di maintindihan ang sinasabi

1. Ogkak – napasuka sa busug

1. Og-og – lagi na laang taya sa larung habulan (always the “it” in a the
2. game of tag)

1. Ok-kob – magtago sa nakaharang na bagay, hide behind a thing or object

1. Olabsak – to sit with one’s bottom on the ground and with legs spread wide, nakaupo sa sahig

1. Om-mog – to smoke a cigar with the lighted end inside the mouth

1. Ongaleb – biting on coconut meat straight from the shell

1. Oron – mag-oron, magkwentuhan

1. Paek-ke – pakipot, maarte

1. Paepong-epong – nagpaepong-epong, wander around, magpaikot-ikot,
2. magpagala-gala

1. Pakloy – weak or lampa

1. Palas – nalipasan ng gutum

1. Paldu – mapera, nanalo sa sugal

1. Paleklek – detour or lumihis, or to take a longer route

1. Palongso – mabahong putik sa sasahan

1. Palpuk – bonfire, smoky bonfire using coconut husk, used in smoking
2. trees and smoking out mosquitoes

1. Pangkal – mahina, weak or loser

1. Panuklang – pantukod sa bintana

1. Paolpot-olpot – palitaw-litaw, pasilip-silip

1. Pawardi-wardi – walk like a drunk person

1. Pelpel – flat

1. Pengkaw – kerewe ang kamay, pilipit ang kamay

1. Peslet – pesletin, crush using hand or feet

1. Petpet – laging napagbubuntunan ng sisi

1. Peyok – peyokin, to reach and bend a tree branch. Esp. used in getting guava fruits

1. Pikaru – maulit, makulit

1. Podong – nilalaro ang suso o utong, playing with the breasts or nipples

1. Porotpot – liquid human waste, happens when having diarrhea

1. Poypoy – simoy ng hangin

1. Puluteput – small or maliit, specially used on bananas or saging

1. Puropur – rain with slight gust of wind

1. Ragusaw – rumaragusaw, dumadagsa, nagkakagulo

1. Ramotmot – hibla sa damit o tela

1. Ramusak – untidy or lamug

1. Rapot-rapot – ginawa ng mabilisan, minadali

1. Rarug – sediment, latak

1. Rasewat – tuyong sanga, dried piece of tree branch

1. Rebuk – to muddy a body of water (Si otoy ay, nirebuk na niya yung sapa.)

1. Repilon – whirl

1. Sagongsong – get away abruptly, umalis ng mabilis

1. Salag-ak – sumiksik sa pagkakaupo. To carry on the shoulder, or to carry where the leg is between your neck, pasanin na ang magkabilang paa ay nasa leeg.

1. Salagwet – the one who carries the catch – in fishing or hunting

1. Salibadyok – salisi, doing something fishy

1. Sapuretret – overflow or apwas

1. Sapyot – throw water or liquid. To cast anywhere – isapyot.

1. Sarapesap – diamond shaped kite made of newspaper and coconut leave midrib with a long strand of newspaper as a tail.

1. Sartin – kaserola

1. Sekalug – tageng-gong

1. Selaput – sinelaput; eating saucy food with fingers, dipping the finger in sauce or jams then licking it from the fingers

1. Selpet – sumeselpet, umuusli, lumalabas ng kaunti, dumudungaw (sumeselpet na bayag)

1. Saredsed – to walk without lifting the feet, or dragging the feet

1. Serepsep – when you cast an object on the surface river, lake or sea

1. Sibig – school dismissal, or labasan na sa paaralan

1. Siput – siniput, kinalbit ang puwit. Ginagamit kung ikaw ay nasa sakluk ng bahay, and you want attention, sisiputin mo yung nasa itaas.

1. Sogkak – naisuka ang isinubo

1. Solpot – lumitaw

1. Suliling – duling or crosseye

1. Supdit – dumura ng malakas

1. Tabegok – one leg of another hook to another and together they hop

1. Tabeng-eg – nakakiling, sala%u2019

1. Tabsung – to dive

1. Tagenggong – earwax, dry or melted

1. Tagiti – shower or mahinang ulan

1. Tagupak – loud clapping

1. Takad – tinakad, to measure depth of water or river

1. Tak-ke – ebak, tai, human or animal waste

1. Takmul – gulp, swallow whole

1. Tam-esan – malaki ang mata, originally refers to santol, but now also used in persons with big eyes

1. Tamtamin mu! – mabuti nga sa iyu. Be buti nga.

1. Tampodok – Tampuhin

1. Tangkung – crab or shrimp shells

1. Tapalang – kabibe

1. Tarabesbes – slanted, lumakad ng patarabesbes

1. Tarkado – very tired

1. Tayka – teka, wait

1. Tayongtong – squat, to sit with two feet and the bottom almost
2. touching the ground

1. Telebong – sumaka o umupo sa braso ng dalawang taong magkahawak sa balikat. Karaniwang ginagamit pag nagtatawid ng babae sa ilog para wag mabasa.

1. Tempuhung – a big wound not less than 2 inches wide

1. Tengked – stand on your toes

1. Teptep – to play with water using the palm

1. Tet-terek – sarangola o burador na mataas lumipad at walang kagalaw-galaw

1. Tingaru – nakatingaru; askew, extending, nakausli

1. Tingeg – neck stretched sideways

1. Tingkalag – bumagsak o nahulog na patihaya, to drop with feet and hands on the air

1. Tipakok – guess, hulaan

1. Tok-katok – dropping and lifting movement of one’s head if he/she is
2. sitting and feels like sleeping

1. Tolgad – itulak sa likod ng malakas

1. Topopung – an expression that usually occur during a game, intended to stop the game o make excuse or make your point. Ex: Topopung at may
2. kukunin lang ako.

1. Tuyupan – tubo (yari sa buho), gamit pang-ihip ng apoy sa kalan

1. Udyuk – one being called with an offending name Ex: Inuudyuk niya aku
2. ng labut!

1. Uraput – sobrang duming damit, very dirty clothes

1. Uyu – dried piece of coconut flower’s shell used as firewood

1. Waredwed – lakad na parang lasing

1. Winakil – wakil, niyabat o itinaboy ng itak

1. Yakyak – yakyakan, tapakan

Essentials of Planning By Rey Misoles 

“Good things only happen when planned; bad things happen on their own.” – Philip Crosby 

A newly promoted manager once came into my office for an advice; “How do I begin?” was his main concern. Very briefly, my reply was, “Sit down, think.” It’s obvious from his reaction that it was not the answer he expected. I fully understand, because once upon a time I was in his shoes . . . Thinking is the most difficult thing a man could ever do. In fact, lots of leaders today despise those who stay in their offices dong mental work – most often misconstrued as “daydreaming. ” Yet planning requires a lot of thinking, long and concentrated thinking . . . and PLANNING is first in the basics of management functions. 

PLANNING . . . . . . is basically a thinking process of trying to know more about the future and then plotting a course of action to take advantage of opportunities and to lessen problems. It is: - the process a manager follows to think through beforehand; what he wants to accomplish and how he will do it;  - the work a manager performs to predetermine a course of action to be followed, which  - is the basis for successful management action.  How important is planning? Cruising at high altitudes, the pilot spoke; “This is your captain speaking. I have two announcements, one good and the other bad. The good one first, we are traveling faster than the speed of light.” (Passengers’ applause.) “Now the bad new, we are lost.” If you’re one of the passengers, how would you feel? The story may not be true, but it depicts a realistic picture of how lack of planning affects your objectives. Good planning, on the other hand, ensures success: - If we know where we are going, we are much more likely to get there. - Others working with us will be much more effective and interested.  - When we work to a plan, each person can fit his part of the action neatly into place, and can schedule and unify his work so he can constantly keep in mind his contribution to the overall results. - Planning enables us to make most effective and economical use of manpower, equipment, facilities and money. - When he plans, the manager is anticipating future opportunities, problems and obstacles. - Good planning provides a competitive advantage to the company. How do we plan? Somebody once said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” A major element in the process of planning is the target, goal, objective or any other name you want to call it. That element is what you should aim for – your destination. It could be a quota, schedule, deadline, or an ambition you want to achieve. As a leader, however, you are privileged to have so many of these – some small and seemingly irrelevant, while others look big and insurmountable. This time you need the tool to define what you really want to achieve – and I call it SMART. 

S – is your goal specific? Set goals one at a time. “Increase production output and quality” just wouldn’t do. Make a plan to “increase production output,” and another plan to “improve quality.” Yes, you can work on both objectives at the same time, as long as they are both well-planned at the start. 

M – is your goal measurable? “To increase sales” is too vague a statement. I would rather “increase sales by 15% by end of third quarter” and see how it can be done. A – is your goal attainable? A goal that’s too high kills the spirit; make it too low and it destroys enthusiasm. It should be short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the essentials. I’m not implying something here, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you! 

R – is your goal relevant? As leaders, you should be facing a myriad of goals and objectives. To be effective, one should be keen in setting priorities – otherwise, you may be doing a lot, for less. 

T – is your goal timebound? To increase sales by 15% without specified time-frame could take your forever, or perhaps never. Without time agreement, there is no commitment. One day in my cubicle at my client’s office, I was sitting in front of the pc doing some mental work – planning strategies to address a major concern. As practiced, I close my eyes and went into deep meditative thinking, visualizing scenarios . . . “Plop!” I was suddenly brought back when my client spoke, with a smile, “Can we discuss some urgent concern, if you’re not busy?” “Sorry to interrupt your rest,” he added. And I told him, “Don’t worry, I’m thinking while sleeping.” - – -

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - Rey Misoles is CEO and Managing Director of MaP Consulting Group, a consulting and training outfit for developing managerial competence.

For your training and consulting needs, feel free to visit: http://www.leadersl adder.org/ “The Leaders’ Ladder” eZine, a continuing leadership development electronic magazine, is now online.

Click on the link to access: http://leadersladde r.org/eZineIssue s/023.htm     

(Note: This article is also  applicable to subordinates, your peers, your boss and your friends. Edit if with microsoft word and try replacing Ron with your name and Stacy with your boss name or your subordinate name or your peer name.)

Understanding each other’s temperaments will help your love grow.
by Art and Laraine Bennett

Vivacious and energetic Stacy volunteers at her children’s school and for her parish, shuttles her five kids to their many activities, and runs a home-based sales business. Her husband, Ron, is a dedicated medical researcher—organized and efficient on the job and at home; he relishes time alone, reading or playing the piano.

When Stacy and Ron first married, they delighted in their widely differing temperaments. Stacy admired Ron’s depth of reflection and sensitivity, his meticulous attention to detail, and his sense of order and purpose. Ron chuckled indulgently over Stacy’s fun, impromptu adventures and enjoyed meeting her many social contacts.

But once the kids began to come and the pressures of work and family increased, Ron found the hustle and bustle of Stacy’s life draining. He needed time to “decompress” after work, while she wanted to talk about her day or rush off to a meeting as soon as he walked in the door. Ron reacted by withdrawing in unwelcoming silence, often heading straight for the computer. And because he found their home in constant disarray due to Stacy’s many commitments, he also began staying late at work.

By the time they sought help for their marriage, Stacy felt she was living in an “emotional vacuum.” Ron rarely wanted to talk, she said, whether about her day or about the kids. Ron explained that he felt badgered and couldn’t relax in a home that was like Grand Central Station.

The Big Four. Opposites attract! We like people who have temperaments similar to our own, but it often happens that we fall in love with someone very unlike ourselves. Stacy and Ron are a classic example. She is a talkative, easily distracted sanguine who lives for people and needs abundant interpersonal interaction. She was drawn to a deeply thoughtful, sensitive, and artistic melancholic—an introvert who needs abundant time for silence and reflection. In another common “opposite temperament” combination, the peaceful, docile phlegmatic seems made for a strong-willed, take-charge choleric.

The concept of these four basic temperaments—choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic—dates back more than two thousand years to Hippocrates, the “father of medical science.” He held that differences in personalities were caused by an individual’s predominant bodily fluid—hence, the rather unappealing names!

Though we no longer relate it to bodily fluids, temperament is still studied and used as a self-assessment tool today. In clinical practice and many years of working with married couples, we have found that problems like Ron and Stacy’s can be averted through an understanding and acceptance of each other’s temperaments.

Preloaded at the Factory. Temperament is most easily understood in terms of the dominant pattern of reaction that we are born with. God has given each of us a tendency or inclination to react quickly or slowly, intensely or calmly, and to hold on to that reaction for a long or a short period of time. Our emotional response, sociability, and prevailing mood are all affected by our inherent temperament.

How quickly do you react to a person or an idea? How strongly do you react when praised or chastised, or when pressed for an opinion? Are you quick-tempered or easygoing? Do you tend to look on the bright side, or do you take a more pessimistic approach? Do you tend to mull things over for a long time before responding, or do you fire off an opinion off the top of your head? Because our reactions are so habitual, part of how we are “hardwired,” we may not even realize that we are thinking, acting, or responding in ways that are typical of our temperaments. In fact, all of these reactions are tip-offs.

Another indicator—and a primary distinction among the temperaments—has to do with extraversion and introversion. Generally speaking, an extravert is one who tends to focus on and be comfortable with the external environment—people and events. An introvert’s comfort zone is the interior world of personal thoughts and emotions.

The choleric and the sanguine temperaments are the most extraverted: they are energized by social interaction and are comfortable expressing themselves. The phlegmatic and melancholic are the introverted temperaments, needing time alone to recharge their batteries and cautious about expressing their thoughts.

The boxes on pages A4 through A8 give nutshell descriptions of the four temperaments. As you look them over, though, keep in mind that no one fits neatly into a category! Most of us are a combination or blend of temperaments—typically, a primary and a secondary one.

Respect, Don’t Project. Often we are unaware of our own pattern of reactions. At other times, we assume that everyone reacts the same way we do. In fact, however, people with different temperaments will have widely differing reactions to identical situations.

Here is a simple example from our own life. We were seated at a dinner table at a fund-raiser for our son’s football team. Decorating the table were photographs and articles about the team; however, they were fixed upside down under a clear plastic tablecloth. Choleric Laraine immediately pulled up the cloth and peeled off the photographs in order to see them better.

“That’s the difference between you and me,” said phlegmatic Art. “I wanted to read the articles, too, but I didn’t think I ought to rearrange the table decorations. I resigned myself to looking at them upside down.” Identical stimuli, very different responses!

How do such variations affect a couple’s relationship? As with Ron and Stacy, differences that were initially attractive can soon become a source of irritation. Then, spouses may find themselves drawing apart in the way described by Drs. Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas, pioneers in the study of temperament:
“What is of central importance is that husband and wife respect each other’s temperamental characteristics. . . . A marital problem can develop and escalate if one or both partners . . . assume that such a behavioral pattern is somehow a matter of choice and represents a willful refusal to make a change ‘for the better.’ ” [our emphasis]

In such a case, “the inconvenience or frustration that the one partner’s temperament creates for the other is interpreted as another evidence of willful intent to annoy and harass” (Temperament in Clinical Practice, The Guilford Press, 1986).

A Fresh Start. This is the downward spiral in which Stacy and Ron were caught: Each assumed that the other was intentionally refusing to honor their deepest needs. Once they discovered how deeply their individual reactions were rooted in their temperaments—which are God-given and, as such, inherently good—they could grow in mutual respect, acceptance, and empathy.

Ron stopped thinking of Stacy as a scatterbrained chatterbox as he came to understand her deep need for abundant and expressive communication. Stacy began to accept Ron’s periods of silence as vitally necessary to his well-being, rather than assuming he was being “antisocial.”

With their new understanding, each spouse learned to make practical concessions to honor the other’s temperament and needs. Stacy reassessed her schedule and commitments. She stopped pouncing on Ron the minute he walked in the door. Instead, she strategically chose times when he felt most refreshed—say, early on a Saturday morning, over coffee—to talk over significant issues. Ron made an effort to communicate more and complain less. As his need for personal time and space was met, he found more energy for joining Stacy in various social ventures.

Many Styles, One Goal. Every marriage has its own style. Some couples argue and others don’t. Some have opposite temperaments, others have similar ones.

But no matter what the particular marriage style, every couple can benefit from learning more about their temperament types. Increased knowledge about ourselves makes it harder to fixate on the splinter in our spouse’s eye, while overlooking the log in our own (see Matthew 7:3). It provides a way to improve our relationships by identifying the natural tendencies in ourselves that can either benefit us or trip us up. Then, with God providing the grace for change, we can more easily correct our own weaknesses.

Increased understanding of our spouse’s temperament deepens our appreciation of the unique person we married and can even rekindle the spark of first love. It fosters empathy, acceptance, and the attentive and “personalized” love that shows our spouse how deeply we care about them. Then we can become the “intimate community of life and love” that God calls married couples to be (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1603).

Art Bennett is a marriage and family therapist and the Director of the Alpha Omega Clinic. Laraine Bennett is a freelance writer and speaker, with Art, on marriage and family issues. They co-authored The Temperament God Gave You (Sophia Institute Press) and are working on their second book, on marriage. They have four children—one of each temperament type.

Fathers Then and Now

Today is one of the first Father’s Days of our new millennium. Fathers
of 1900 didn’t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did
have a few advantages:

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father’s horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it’s the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a
success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just
the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby
arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure
film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down
an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long
enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip
cancer.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up,
it’s time for school.”
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up,
it’s time for hockey practice.”

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at
the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at
gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while
fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout,
“WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all
smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams: “I
wanted Sega!”

In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool.
Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the
table.
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room,
red-brick building.
Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey
Mantle.

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

A brief summary of our meeting:

1. a survey will be conducted to get a better feel for attendance. Bottomline:  attendance is a function of how many will commit to helping in organizing the event. We’re looking at a low of 100 and a high of 300.
2. date of conference:  August 29 Wednesday
3. engage an events organizer, especially to address concern of issuing receipts
4. Committees were formed, members volunteered, and chairpersons assigned

Our next meeting will be on 7pm Wednesday June 20 at the training room of Saavedra, Songalla, and Associates.  Room 1006, Tower I, Rufino Building , V. A. Rufino (formerly Herrera street ) corner Ayala, Avenue, Makati .  Expected outputs are your committee’s expected role and initial gameplan.

Hi all members of the discussion:

PUEDE PA HABOL KAYO:

MAMAYA 7pm Jun 13, wednesday HRPHILLIPPINES meeting at Chowking Pioneer Centre Function room 2nd flooor adjacent to UNILAB pioneer st., cor United st pasig city contact chowking at tel. 638-88-98 for direction to the place. KKKB (Kanya Kanyang Kain at Bayad)

Below are list of those who confirmed to help in planning our 1st General Conference on August 2007. Please come early as 6:30 pm for registration and brief socializing. Kindly put your name tag on left upper breast. You can use the attached HRP ID form

You may contact me privately at agbasinillo@ yahoo.com tel. 571-05-38 cp 09205247954

Please visit hrphilippines blog at http://hrph. wordpress. com/ and http://agbasinillo. wordpress. com/ you can post and comment just like an email.

1 Ricky Gumaru 2 Sonnie Santos 3 Edwin Ebreo 4 Raffy Pafianco 5 Lanie Silerio 6 Austri G. Basinillo 7 Dennis Oco 8 Edlyn Frondoso 9 Edna Banares 10 Fe Celso 11 Frozti Ann Agrasada 12 Gege Segue 13 Harvard de Baron 14 Helen San Agustin 15 Jack Wong 16 Jemima Ballesteros 17 Julie Martinez 18 Maricar Victorino 19 Marlito Sy 20 Orpha Faith Briones 21 Powermax 22 Raffy Perfecto 23 Sarah Songalia 24 Tammy Tamondong 25 Sam Acosta 26 Cris Aguilar 27 Liza Vitto 28 Jef Menguito

On June 29-30, Steven Curtis Chapman goes live in Manila!

Steven Curtis Chapman, a Grammy award winner and all-time unmatched GMA Music Award (Dove Awards) recipient, creates global awareness on the need for adoption of the less privileged children through his music. His platinum and gold albums under EMI-CMG/ Praise, Inc. includes: Speechless, Heaven in the Real World, Declaration, Greatest Hits, Music Of Christmas, Signs Of Life, The Great Adventure, More To This Life, For The Sake Of The Call and All About Love.

Chapman’s song “I Will Be Here” has overtaken his popularity, being immensely well-received in the Philippines and has become a standard love song in our music scene, being covered countless times by various local artists in both the original English and Filipino versions.

This free event is brought to you by Cathedral of Praise!

Plan to come early. Seats will be on a first-come, first-serve basis. Doors will be open two hours prior to the concert.

ADDRESS:
Cathedral Of Praise- Manila Auditorium
350 Taft Ave. Ermita, Manila
(In front of NBI; Besides Manila Science High School and Pearl Manila Hotel)

Map:

1. Convention, Assembly or Conference?
2. Venue – Asia mall, Convention Center or School
3. No. of days of the affair
4. Sponsorship (sole or many)
5. Fee – 300.00 or 500.00?
6. Official Receipts or Special unofficial receipt
7. What are the committees?

Registration

      Program

      Ways and Means

      Financial/Treasury

      Food

      Accommodation

      Invitation

      Transportation

      Sponsors/ Sponsor Booth

       Job Fair

1. Target Participants 300 or 500
2. When do we meet?

In this website http://www.gklim.com/about/index.html you will fined the profile of our Guest Speaker Mr. G. K. Lim of Malaysia. Pls find also on this site his clients http://www.gklim.com/clients/index.html

Reminder to the list: please fill up the abiodata form attached for our excel database.

Regards

Austri Basinillo